Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Dark Moon Experience
Tonight I held an informal ritual in honor of the Dark Moon, and the Goddesses Hecate and Cerridwen. In my usual fashion, I did some deep breathing and relaxation exercises, and grounded myself. Listening to music by Loreena McKennitt and Laura Powers, I did a reading from my tarot. The first, a new layout, basically confirmed that I am a creative person who has experienced self-doubt, difficult times, yet still hold onto my dreams and that I have a well-grounded support system, and familial love.
To confirm my reading, I did a 3-card spread next, that basically confirmed that I have been a free-spirit for the most part, innocent or naive, and that I have had indecision/paralysis from too many choices and insecurities, but that I will charge "full steam ahead". A good summary of me, I think--I was thinking of my creativity and my path when I shuffled the cards.
Afterwards, I pulled out my Goddess Oracle deck, and shuffled them, asking the Goddess to show me what I needed to do to be whole within myself. The card I drew was Coatlique, the Aztec Mother Goddess of Life and Death, and Grief. I was amazed, yet not really, that the cards would so accurately define what it is I needed to do.
The deck workbook suggests a drumming ritual to release the grief that I held within. Since I do not yet own a drum (another thing on my wishlist) I grabbed the nearest thing to hand--a lid off one of those metal popcorn tins. I placed it on the ground, and after some deep breaths, I meditatied upon the card and the tears began to flow. I talked to my mother-in-law, and I grieved for her loss. I really felt it from the depths of my being, and I cried and moaned, and apologized to her, all the while drumming on the makeshift drum. It was very cleansing, very much a release of feelings that I had held within and did not admit to.
As I came out of the grieving the music was playing a song about dancing in the heavens among the stars, and I saw my mother-in-law dancing and walking and laughing. I told her I love her, and that I will miss her. I found myself smiling and talking to her as I visualized her with the Creators, the Goddess and the God.
This was something that I want to remember because it was so cleansing, and i felt so much better having expressed feelings that I had held within. I had grieved, but not this deeply, and this definitely is what the Goddess wanted me to realize, and to do tonight.
After I was done with the rituals, I walked out under the dark moon and gave my altar offerings to the Goddess' other creatures, and gave libation of Her water to the garden. I turned circles, slowly, and thanked the Godesses for showing me the way.
Truly a remarkable evening, under the dark moon.
I noticed that my black candle burned down with the wax making figures at the "9 o'clock" hour---that is the time that my release came! very interesting!
7/5/05 dark moon.
To confirm my reading, I did a 3-card spread next, that basically confirmed that I have been a free-spirit for the most part, innocent or naive, and that I have had indecision/paralysis from too many choices and insecurities, but that I will charge "full steam ahead". A good summary of me, I think--I was thinking of my creativity and my path when I shuffled the cards.
Afterwards, I pulled out my Goddess Oracle deck, and shuffled them, asking the Goddess to show me what I needed to do to be whole within myself. The card I drew was Coatlique, the Aztec Mother Goddess of Life and Death, and Grief. I was amazed, yet not really, that the cards would so accurately define what it is I needed to do.
The deck workbook suggests a drumming ritual to release the grief that I held within. Since I do not yet own a drum (another thing on my wishlist) I grabbed the nearest thing to hand--a lid off one of those metal popcorn tins. I placed it on the ground, and after some deep breaths, I meditatied upon the card and the tears began to flow. I talked to my mother-in-law, and I grieved for her loss. I really felt it from the depths of my being, and I cried and moaned, and apologized to her, all the while drumming on the makeshift drum. It was very cleansing, very much a release of feelings that I had held within and did not admit to.
As I came out of the grieving the music was playing a song about dancing in the heavens among the stars, and I saw my mother-in-law dancing and walking and laughing. I told her I love her, and that I will miss her. I found myself smiling and talking to her as I visualized her with the Creators, the Goddess and the God.
This was something that I want to remember because it was so cleansing, and i felt so much better having expressed feelings that I had held within. I had grieved, but not this deeply, and this definitely is what the Goddess wanted me to realize, and to do tonight.
After I was done with the rituals, I walked out under the dark moon and gave my altar offerings to the Goddess' other creatures, and gave libation of Her water to the garden. I turned circles, slowly, and thanked the Godesses for showing me the way.
Truly a remarkable evening, under the dark moon.
I noticed that my black candle burned down with the wax making figures at the "9 o'clock" hour---that is the time that my release came! very interesting!
7/5/05 dark moon.
# posted by Moonchild's Musings @ 9:45 PM 
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What an incredible experience; a beautiful ritual honoring your grief and the memory of your mother-in-law. Thinking of you, hearthsister, and may the Goddess continue to comfort you.
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