Moonchild's Musings

Just a little rambling to bring this journal to life. A lot has been going on most recently, with my father-in-law ill and going through some of the same things my mother-in-law did two years ago. He's had a rough six weeks, and hopefully he will regain strength and get off the respirator. He's starting to breathe on his own so that is a good sigh, but he is still so terribly weak, his pressures are so low, and he has lost so much weight. He wasn't a big man to start with, but this is not surprising considering he has not been well for so long now. Still I am optimistic.

As for other parts of life, well, just plugging along there and trying to keep my head and heart above the sinking line. We're doing okay but not great, financially.

Best part of recent news is we just celebrated (very loose term here) our 20th wedding anniversary! I got my wedding ring repaired and am finally able to wear it after 18 months or so of waiting until I could do it. So, I got tired of waiting and just did it. It looks beautiful, just like new, and the settings are all stronger, so this was a good thing!

Well, that's all for now.....

Well, we got hit with that snowstorm, December 1st and we got snowed in!!! Karl is out now shoveling, has been shoveling for 4 hours and just at 3/4 of our driveway and the front walk. The snowplows have not made it to our cross street yet, nor have I heard them on the the other secondary roads. We are on a tertiary road. I think they are probably still plowing the highways. It appears that here at our house we got around 12 inches of snow. At least what I can see from where Karl is shoveling and the edge is. Amazing!!!!! It fell beginning late last night, between 10 and 11 just lightly snowing, and then stopped around 10:30 or so this morning.

It is beautiful. I love that I got the call from my boss saying to stay home, since I'm out of town...at least to wait and see, and when I checked in at noon, she agreed there was no point trying to go in today.

The sun is shining (in and out) this afternoon, and it looks lovely on the snow! But it is only about 18 degrees out there, less with wind-chill!

Anyway, what a nice end to the week! Though I am supposed to work at the eye clinic tomorrow--that is, if we can get out... ; )

Happy Winter, Everyone!


UPDATE:

Well, at 10:30 last night (Friday December 1) we finally called the Road Commissioner to find out when our road would be plowed. He was still out plowing in another nearby town. Said he'd been out plowing since 3:30 yesterday morning, poor guy. We asked him to try to do our road before 7 this morning so I can get into work, since I missed yesterday, and this would amount to extra income. He came right over, must have been on his way home, and plowed our street by 11 last night. phew.

Well, we noticed the house getting colder but took it in stride, with the space heater and quilts, soup, tea, we'd been okay. We turned up the thermostat to warm the house up before bed, and never did hear it come on. Well, we thought the pilot light must be out. Karl worked on it a bit, kept lighting the pilot, but wouldn't stay lit. It now appears that our thermalcoupling is probably "burnt out" again--this happened 2 years ago, too. Great, frigid cold and no heat.

So, between the thermostat/heater and the problem with my car, I guess I know where my Christmas money from our families is going!

Can you believe it? When it rains, it pours. Or, is that when it snows, it showers! lol

Have a good day and weekend, I couldn't get in to work Saturday, as Karl had to dig out where the plow pushed 4 feet of snow at the end of the driveway. Then when he did try to drive to town, it took 2 hours for a 30 minute trip, and was very slippy-slidey, and dangerous. Now, the plow broke down when he showed up Sunday to plow and so we've only been plowed once... figures....but I must work today (Monday December 4) so we have to try it!

hugs, Berta

Well, I had a wonderful visit with my sister last weekend! I'm so sad to see her go. We spent a lot of time just BEING together, chatting, laughing, talking. We shopped. Boy, did we shop!

She surprised me with a new printer for an early birthday gift on Thursday. Then, Friday morning my computer crashed and died! We had not even installed or done anything to it except unplug it the night before when the storms started. Well, we tried to install a new hard drive, but THAT was not the (main) problem. Appears it is probably the Motherboard and/or the Power Supply. UGH. We took the new drive back, and my wonderful sister bought me a new computer! I am still in shock, amazement, and very, very grateful for a sweet and generous sister! My sister and I are very much alike, and she insisted on doing this because she knows how much I need my computer, it is my lifeline! I love my sister! I LOVE my sister! : D

My old hard drive is in the shop to see if they can recover data, and I believe they have done it. I'll be picking it up later today, after work. Otherwise, it would mean I lost all my Addresses, my Calendar, and worst of all, my Herbal Grimoire! ack!

One day, then, we will get the old computer in the shop and see if we can repair it. Then get a new drive. I still have a lot of data--almost all my data--on my Zip Disks, and that drive is in the old computer. If we are able to repair it cheaply enough, then we have a 2nd computer for Karl to play on, and perhaps even learn how to surf, etc.

Anyway, that is the news for now. Until I get the disks and confirm that they managed to save my Address book, I have no way to contact anybody. If you need to reach me, or would like to send my your address, please feel free. My address is the same.

Hugs and blessings to you all!

Berta

another of my posts to the Iseum that I want to remember....


Let's also discuss Blodeuwedd, as we come into emergence...or whichever
Goddess you are personally working with as Maiden. This is the time of
the Maiden. What does that mean for us? For the most part, our
personal maiden times are...ahem...gone by. I know mine sure has! Yet
the Maiden still resides in me. What does she mean to you? What does
the idea of Emergence mean? If we are to flower like the buds on the
trees, what does that mean to you in your life?

As Beltane nears, think about how you'd like to bring these themes into
being in your life, your surroundings. I can't wait to hang all the
flowers garlands that I have prepared...the house practically screams
Beltane by May 1st. Have you ever tied ribbons in the trees for
Beltane? Another fun and beautiful way to keep it.

I think my posts earlier today on my Live Journal and Yahoo!360 were pretty appropriate to Blodeuwedd, spring, and Emergence. I basically said that I am seeing and feeling Spring everywhere. In the new energy that is present, the new life that is emerging, the buds that are soon to spring forth, the leaves that are peeking through, the bunnies bouncing and foraging, and in the way I feel. I am feeling more energetic, especially today after the way I felt the past week--which may have been tied to my unusually heavy period--but I feel like it is time to get moving and get things going. Walk, move, do.

For me, Spring/Emergence is a time of new things coming forth, breaking free of old things, and trying new things. Birth, ideas, beginnings--all these things are what I feel within and without at Springtime.

Blodeuwedd, to me, represents the clean slate upon which we may write. She is a fresh flower, an innocent, a Goddess of freshness, simple pleasures. Yet, at the same time she has a strength of character, and a determination to move forward. She is not stagnant, will not sit still and wait for what is to come, but must be moving, flowing, budding into what will be.

Beltane? I have not made definite plans yet, but I would like to be able to meet with the area Pagan group I met with last summer. Of course, I would also do my own celebration. I have already put the spring flowers, or actually did not take them down...at least one vase. I want to get more garlands to put on my hearthplace and lamp pole, to bring the energy inside. I want to clean really well, too--but that I will be doing this weekend and next, because my sweet sister Marta is coming on April 12-16. ;)

as for the energy around me now..... I felt so energized, and feel so close to the Goddess right now, especially being able to read all the wonderful posts here, that I went in and put on several special pieces of jewelry--my amber & jet Goddess necklace & bracelet, pentacle earrings, and my Mother Goddess ring, and a spiral ring that I also think is a Reiki symbol. I don't often wear jewelry at home except for ritual, but I felt like it today, and boy, oh boy, does it make me feel pretty, young, and happy!!!!! just a little thing like that!

another post I made to the Iseum...

You know, M, I do use the word "Celtic" when I describe my path to someone. Only because it gives a description of where my heart is. To me, it does not mean I am traditionalist, nor tied only to the past, but it does tell someone that I follow the Celtic pantheon versus, say, the Egyptian. Why do I do this? I suppose it is a little way of giving of myself to someone, without having to go into a great deal of information. You know how I love a long story, and if you get me going, well, watchout. lol

However, to me, Celtic means all that I am in my spirit, a connection to my past, and an encompassing of my present. I suppose that I don't have to do this, and sometimes I wonder when I'm typing it out "Celtic Goddess Hearth Witch" why I have to say it at all. But, I do, and I think this little description I created pretty much says it all--I am a daughter of the Goddess, I am a hearth witch in every sense, and I follow Celtic ways. To me this includes my searching for Avalon, for Bride's well, for the cauldron of Cerridwen, for the birds and forests of Rhiannon, for the rivers and green hills of Danu, for the stars in Arianrhod's wheel, and the spiral of life that is Branwen's wheel. So, I guess that is why I do describe myself as Celtic, and it brings to me a sense of continuity,

Yet, I understand what you mean when you say you realize you needn't do it any longer, also. I think for each of us, we do what feels right at the time, what is meaningful. This is what matters--to do what feels right in your heart, and your spirit.

from a conversation on the Iseum...

For me, I have always held trees, spirals, stars, moon and water as sacred. I think my own imagery is mixed up within this. Whether it be a spiral encompassing and hugging all that I am, all that makes up my ancestry, my present, my future....ever expanding and growing, flexing with the pulse of life--or whether it be the Sea, with the tides flowing to-and-fro, washing over me, encompassing me, and cleansing me, uniting me with the ancestral lands overseas, and with the moon through the tidal influences--or perhaps the tree that I have always held so dear, sending her feet into the Earth to ground me, to bring the life force up and into me, so that my body, my mind, my being is nourished and refreshed, tying me to the Earth, but to the Waters of life, to the Air that breezes through my leafy-hair to cleanse my mind and help me see beyond, to touch the sky and the stars, the Moon, and the universe that goes on unseen.

I've been reading and completed Jhenah Telyndru's "Avalon Within" and am part of a study group for Avalonianism. I've studied bits and pieces about Avalon over the years, and of course have always been drawn to Arthurian mythos, but this group is one where we are actually DOING as well as learning.

I have yet to complete even the basic journey or Imram to Avalon, but I hope to break through whatever blockages I have and begin. Yet, all good things come with time and persistence.

In many ways, I think I have already addressed some of my own inner issues, or at the least identified them, but I know I have a long, long way to go to become the best me that I can be. Within the Avalonian path, we learn to overcome our shadow-selves, using the knowledge and insight we gain to become the best vessel for the Goddess that we can be. A very personal journey to Avalon, indeed. One that will continue as long as I do.

I have always felt close to the Goddess, always felt that connection and unity with Her. I know that I am Her daughter, and that She is within me. This study, journey, growth is to strengthen and reinforce that.

As we go along we will be reading other books, discussing our feelings, experiences, intuitions. I think it is a wonderful group, and I am glad to be a part of it.

and you ask, what about your dedication to Brigid? I am still and will always be a daughter of Brigid. I believe she is with me on this journey. Although the Avalonian path works with the Welsh pantheon, I believe that Brigid is there, as well, and not only in her guise of St. Bridget. Whatever her name, She IS, still.

I dedicated myself to Brigid last night, 1/31/06!! I think it went really well, and I know Brigid was with me. I invited the Elementals to guard my circle, then called upon the three realms in the Celtic fashion--Land, Sea, Sky, and lit candles for them and for the fire of inspiration. I invited Brigid and three other Goddesses (Danu, Boann, Cerridwen) as witnesses to my rite. I raised energy by chanting the names of all four Goddesses together (Danu-Brigid-Boann-Cerridwen) as I spun and spiraled, and that was wonderful, I could feel the energy in the air and in myself! Then, I performed my dedication to Brigid, and it felt so right, so wonderful, so meaningful. I felt tears well up, but they did not overflow. I followed it up with a meditation journey to meet Brigid at her forge, beginning with fire-gazing into the flame. It was a nice journey, but not a deep meditation. Still, it was relaxing and heartwarming and I enjoyed it. Next was the "tea and cakes" portion of my rite, and I blessed the food and offerings, and shared it with the Goddesses. At the end of the night, I put out the Goddess’ portion of my offerings (bread and dairy-butter, cream cheese, ricotta cheese!) out for the traveling host or the fae or the critters (whichever), and I looked this morning and they did eat it. I love that! It means to me that Brigid, and the fae, were near. I closed my rite with gratitude to the Goddesses and the Elementals. Overall, I think it was a wonderful evening, and I really enjoyed the rite. A little bit of structure but still enough freedom for me to improvise as felt right!

Earlier last night, before my rite, I said a “farewell” at the back door to the Samhain quarter of the year, and this morning a greeting to the Imbolc quarter at the front door! I had placed my cloth out for Brigid’s blessing last night, and brought it in this morning. Now it is blessed for working with and healing over the year—it is my “Brigid’s Mantle”.

I let my inspiration candle burn all the way out, but the realm candles for the land, sea, and sky and my own flame did not burn completely out. Since they are ‘realm” or “personal” I don’t think it will matter and I can use them again tonight or soon.

Also tonight, Imbolc night, I light my Brigid’s Flame for the first time in conjunction with our cill "BridsCall". I'm excited and love the verse we have chosen to say together. Then I will be on rotation and my first solo lighting will be on Saturday. But tonight the entire group will be lighting them for Imbolc. I’ll do it from Sunset – until I go to bed. After all, the flame still burns in my heart, too.

I’m really excited and feel good that I did this. It just feels right. It is like an acknowledgment of what I am and have been all along. I know I’ve dedicated before (to the Mother Goddess) and that dedication is still valid and true. But this is the first time to a Matron Goddess with whom I have a real soul connection. I once made vows to Hecate, but not a full dedication. Again, tonight's rites will not impinge upon those older that I have done, but instead will add to me and strengthen my bond with Goddess and Spirit.

I am very pleased and happy that I made my dedication, and I know that it is right for me. I may share my dedication vows later, but for now, this is a good description of the night.

Blessings to all, and Blessed Imbolc!